The Mummy Dating Game
by Dead Profile
Summary: Okay, I was on an odd streak. Read this if you're in love with one of The Mummy characters. STATUS: FINISHED!!!
1. The Introductions

The Mummy Dating Game 

Okay, this for all you lovesick puppies out there who are in love with TM and TMR characters. Feel free to insert yourself anywhere you want. ^_^ This is mostly for girls, but if you're a boy and you REALLY want to...

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Rick, Jonathan, Ardeth, Imhotep, and Beni are sitting in chairs on a stage. They give fake smiles and wave to the audience. A bunch of girls scream. The host is (of course) me. ^_^

Me: Okay now. Welcome to The Mummy Dating game!!! It seems that Imhotep has dumped Anck-su-namun for leaving him at Ahm Shere, and Rick divorced Evy over a squabble about a toaster... and Evy took the kid!

Me: So let me introduce our five new bachelors!

Me: Bachelor number one likes shooting stuff with his many guns and looking heroic. His hobbies include bleaching his teeth and ballet. Please welcome... Rick O'Connell!

A scream is heard from all the girls in the audience.

Me: Bachelor number two likes drinking and is obsessed with money. His hobbies include getting hangovers and having wild parties. Please welcome... Jonathan Carnahan! 

More screams.

Me: Bachelor number three is a black-robed figure of justice. No, not Zorro. His hobbies include sending the Creature back to his grave and perming his hair. Please welcome... Ardeth Bay!

Again, more screams.

Me: Bachelor number four is a bald ancient High Priest of Osiris. His hobbies include trying to take over the world and taking long bubble baths. Please welcome... Imhotep!

Very loud screams.

Me: And finally, bachelor five is in here only for Anck-Su-Namun16's benefit. You better review this, Anck-Su-Namun16. Bachelor five likes wearing red fezzes and being the right hand of the devil. Please welcome... Beni Gabor!

Anck-Su-Namun16 screams, runs onto the stage, and drags Beni off.

Me: Okay, one down, four to go. Well, so much for the introductions. Now on to the interviews!


	2. The Interviews

The Interviews 

Me: Okay, now that we know who each of these gorgeous men are, it's time for the interviews!

Me: Bachelor number one. If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?

Rick: I would buy more guns and bleach my teeth.

Me: Okay. Bachelor two, what would _you _do with a million dollars?

Jonathan: Buy more drinks.

Me: Anything else?

Jonathan: No. Just more drinks.

Me: Alrighty then! Bachelor three, a million dollars?

Ardeth: I would buy a gigantic safe and lock the Creature in there for all eternity. And buy more camels.

Me: And bachelor number four. What would you do with a million dollars?

Imhotep: What are dollars?

Me: Money.

Imhotep: Oh. I would buy the world and turn it all into Egypt.

Me: Well, we can dream, can't we?

Imhotep: What is that supposed to mean?!

Me: Okay, on to the next question. Bachelors, what would you do on a night alone with your girlfriend?

Rick: Polish my guns.

Jonathan: Drink.

Ardeth: Kill the Creature.

Imhotep: What was the question again?

Me: Okay, now it's time to meet today's eligible bachelorettes: Lady X, Lady Y, Lady Z, and Lady A!

Four girls walk up onto the stage. One of them is you!

Me: Okay, based on your interview answers, Ladies X, Y, Z, and A have been paired up with one of our bachelors, and you will be going for a romantic dinner, then spending the night in a five star hotel!

Me: We'll be back after this commercial break to see who's with who!


	3. The Pairs

The Pairs 

Me: Okay, we're back, and it's time to see which Lady is with which bachelor!

I open an envelope.

Me: Bachelor number one is going out with... Lady Y!

Rick and Lady Y walk to each other and kiss romantically, then leave the screen, giggling.

Me: Bachelor two is going with... Lady A!

Lady A and Jonathan walk to each other.

Lady A: Let's go get a drink.

Jonathan: I like you.

Me: Bachelor three is going to be spending the night with... Lady Z!

Lady Z goes and sits on Ardeth's lap, and he plays with her hair and they whisper to each other, kissing now and then.

Me: Then that means that bachelor four is with... Lady X!

Lady X and Imhotep walk to each other and begin frenching. They don't stop.

Me: And that's it for The Mummy Dating Game! Hope you'll join us next time!!!

The curtain closes on Lady X and Imhotep, who are still frenching.

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**Author's Notes**: Okay, that was very odd, I know. I was bored and out of ideas. I hope that you put yourself in there somewhere and got the man you wanted! ^_~ Anyway, I won't describe our couple's romantic nights together, that's something for you to do. Have fun! 

This is dedicated to my twin, KateLovesImhotep. Love ya twin! ^_^


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